Good morning; or is it afternoon? Which ever it is, it's good, don't you think? Particularly from this tree. I came out to escape the pepper - gets into the fur - and the baby - dreadfully ugly and so noisy. Gracious me, there's that girl again. The one who took the baby. Hasn't got it now though. Good day; can I help you? Which way to go? Well, that depends a good deal on where you want to get to. If you don't care about where, it doesn't matter which way you go - you're bound to get somewhere eventually. In that direction live a Hatter; and in that direction lives a March Hare. Visit either you like; they're both mad. You can't avoid mad people here: we're all mad. I'm mad. You're mad. How do I know that I'm mad? Well, a dog's not mad, you agree? So, you see a dog growls when it's angry and wags it's tail when it's pleased. Now I growl when I'm pleased and wag my tail when I'm angry. Therefore I'm mad. And you must be mad, or you wouldn't have come here. Do you play croquet with the Queen today? If so, you'll see me there. Oh, bye the bye, what became of the baby? I nearly forgot to ask. Turned into a pig? Oh dear; I thought it would. Er, did you say pig or fig? All right - don't get bad-tempered. I'll see you at the croquet: past the March Hare's and second on the left for the rose garden. And don't forget your flamingo. Gooood-byyye.