Alice in Wonderland – Duologue
Two-hander · Comedy
Alice in Wonderland – Duologue
Alice in Wonderland – Duologue · Lewis Carroll
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Alice in Wonderland – Duologue
Published by scriptsandsketches.com
On a glorious summer's afternoon, young ALICE follows a smartly dressed rabbit down a rabbit hole into Wonderland, where she encounters the perplexing WHITE QUEEN and other curious creatures.
Duologue
Characters: ALICE, WHITE QUEEN
ALICE IN WONDERLAND
by Lewis Carroll
Adapted for stage by Adrian Mitchell
On a glorious summer's afternoon, young ALICE happens upon a smartly dressed rabbit looking at his watch and muttering 'I'm too late!' This being an unexpected occurrence, she follows him down a nearby rabbit hole and falls into Wonderland where she meets many strange and curious creatures. Here, ALICE tries to help the WHITE QUEEN but finds her too confusing.
ALICE:
There goes somebody's shawl. (ALICE catches a flying white shawl in mid-air. Next moment the WHITE QUEEN comes running wildly through the wood with both arms stretched out as if she is flying.) (Helping WHITE QUEEN with her shawl.) May I help you? (To us.) Everything's crooked, and she's all over pins.
WHITE QUEEN:
(Sadly) I don't know what's the matter with that shawl. I've pinned it here and I've pinned it there, but there's no pleasing it.
ALICE:
(Putting it right as far as she can. ) And what a state your hair is in!
WHITE QUEEN:
My hairbrush got tangled up in it! And my comb vanished again.
ALICE:
(Tidying her hair) That's better! But you really need a lady's maid.
WHITE QUEEN:
The job's yours! Twopence a week, and jam every other day.
ALICE:
(Laughing) I don't want a job - and I don't like jam.
WHITE QUEEN:
It's very good jam.
ALICE:
Well, I don't want any today.
WHITE QUEEN:
You couldn't have it today if you did. The rule is, jam tomorrow and jam yesterday – but never jam today.
ALICE:
It must sometimes come to “jam today'.
WHITE QUEEN:
No. It's jam day every other day. Today isn't any other day.
ALICE:
It's very confusing!
WHITE QUEEN:
That's the effect of living backwards. It makes you a bit giddy at first –
ALICE:
Living backwards?
WHITE QUEEN:
But there's one great advantage – your memory works both ways.
ALICE:
Mine only works one way. I can't remember things before they happen.
WHITE QUEEN:
That's a poor sort of memory.
ALICE:
What do you remember best?
WHITE QUEEN:
Oh, things that happened the week after next. (Sticking a large piece of plaster on her finger) There's a mistake somewhere – (Screaming) Oh, oh, oh! (Shakes her hand about) My finger's bleeding!
ALICE:
What's the matter? Have you pricked your finger?
WHITE QUEEN:
Not yet, but I'm just going to - oh, oh, oh! As soon as I try to fasten my shawl again. Oh, oh! (Clutches at her brooch and tries to clasp it again)
ALICE:
Take care! It's all crooked. (ALICE tries to intervene, but the pin slips and the WHITE QUEEN pricks her finger.)
WHITE QUEEN:
(Smiling) The pin! That explains the bleeding. That's the way things happen here.
ALICE:
Why don't you scream now the pin's pricked you?
WHITE QUEEN:
I've done all my screaming. Why do it again? How old are you? (The sky is becoming lighter)
ALICE:
Seven and a half exactly.
WHITE QUEEN:
I believe you. Now I'll give you something to believe. I'm one hundred and one, five months and a day.
ALICE:
I can't believe that!
WHITE QUEEN:
Try again: draw a deep breath and shut your eyes.
ALICE:
(Laughs) It's no use. I can't believe impossible things.
WHITE QUEEN:
You need to practice. I always do it for half an-hour a day. Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast. There goes my shawl again!
