Matilda’s First Day
7 cast members · Comedy
Matilda’s First Day
Matilda’s First Day · Adapted from the Screenplay by Simon Law
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Matilda
Published by scriptsandsketches.com
Matilda had always wanted to go to school. She tried to imagine what her new school would be like. She pictured a lovely building, surrounded by trees and flowers. There was a building. And children! Regardless of how the school looked, she was happy to be there.
Ensemble
Characters: NARRATOR, MISS TRUNCHBULL, HORTENSIA, LAVENDER, AMANDA, MATILDA, MISS HONEY
(All the Children, including the ‘new girl’ Matilda, are stood up at the side of the classroom waiting for the dreaded Miss Trunchbull.)
NARRATOR:
Matilda had always wanted to go to school. She tried to imagine what her new school would be like. She pictured a lovely building, surrounded by trees and flowers. There was a building. And children! Regardless of how the school looked, she was happy to be there. After all, any school is better than no school at all. Isn't it?
MISS TRUNCHBULL:
You... detention. You're too small. Grow up quicker! Heads up! Shoulders back!
HORTENSIA:
Sorry.
LAVENDER:
It's better than being out there.
MATILDA:
Is that my teacher?
HORTENSIA:
No, that's the principal.
LAVENDER:
The principal likes to snap a whip in here to see who's hiding.
MATILDA:
(To Lavender) I'm Matilda.
LAVENDER:
Lavender.
HORTENSIA:
I'm Hortensia.
MATILDA:
Does she really hit children?
HORTENSIA:
No. What she does is worse. Like yesterday, in the second grade. She makes weekly visits to show the teachers how to handle kids.
LAVENDER:
Julius ate two M&Ms... And she caught him? Of course!
MATILDA:
Was Julius okay?
LAVENDER:
He lived, if that's what you mean. She used to be in the Olympics. Shot-put, javelin, hammer throw. So she does this all the time?
HORTENSIA:
It's better than the Chokey.
MATILDA:
Chokey?
HORTENSIA:
It's a tall hole in the wall, a drippy pipe with jagged edges. The walls have nails sticking out.
MISS TRUNCHBULL:
(Almost off stage - right: Putting someone in the chokey) Get in, you festering bowl of pus!
LAVENDER:
I've been in there twice.
MATILDA:
Didn't you tell your parents?
LAVENDER:
Would your parents believe it?
HORTENSIA:
You must obey Miss Trunchbull.
LAVENDER:
No. Here she comes!
MISS TRUNCHBULL:
Ah! Fresh meat! Amanda Thripp.
AMANDA:
Yes. Miss Trunchbull.
MISS TRUNCHBULL:
What are those… hanging down by your ears?
AMANDA:
You mean my pigtails?
MISS TRUNCHBULL:
Are you a pig?
AMANDA:
No. Miss Trunchbull.
MISS TRUNCHBULL:
Do I allow pigs in my school?
AMANDA:
My mommy thinks they're sweet.
MISS TRUNCHBULL:
Your mommy is a twit! - Chop them off by tomorrow, or...
AMANDA:
But...
MISS TRUNCHBULL:
But?? Did you say "but"?
LAVENDER:
(Whispering) Hammer throw - Definitely.
MISS TRUNCHBULL:
I'll give you "but". Good loft! Excellent release! (She throws Amanda Thripp out of the window in a hammer throw motion)
HORTENSIA:
Think she'll make the fence?
MISS TRUNCHBULL:
(Cross that the girl wasn’t hurt badly) Get to class before I throw you all in the Chokey.
MATILDA:
Lavender, what's my teacher like?
MISS TRUNCHBULL:
Run. run. Run! Faster! Get in!
NARRATOR:
Matilda's teacher, Miss Honey, was one of those people who appreciates every child for who she or he is.
AMANDA:
I scooped these up for you.
MISS HONEY:
How lovely. Thank you, Amanda. We have a new student with us today. This is Matilda Wormwood. I'd like you to sit with Lavender. You all know how scary the first day of school is, so be nice to Matilda. Could you get her workbook, please? You can sit down.
NARRATOR:
Miss Honey was a wonderful teacher. But her life was not as beautiful as it seemed. She had a dark secret. Though it caused her pain, it didn't interfere with her teaching.
MISS HONEY:
You've come on a good day. We're going to review what we've learned. If you know an answer, just raise your hand. We've been working on our times tables. Who'd like to demonstrate? Let's do some together … 2 x 4 is?
AMANDA:
8
MISS HONEY:
2 x 6 is?
LAVENDER:
12
MISS HONEY:
2 x 9 is?
HORTENSIA:
18
MISS HONEY:
Soon you'll be able to do them all, whether it's 2 x 7… - 14. Or 13 x 379.
MATILDA:
4,927
MISS HONEY:
I beg your pardon?
MATILDA:
4,927 - I think that's the answer.
MISS HONEY:
It is. Wow… You can multiply big numbers?
MATILDA:
I read a book on mathematics.
MISS HONEY:
You like to read?
MATILDA:
Yes, I love to read.
MISS HONEY:
What do you like to read?
MATILDA:
I've been reading Charles Dickens.
MISS HONEY:
Charles Dickens.
MATILDA:
I could read him every day.
MISS HONEY:
So could I. All right, take out your workbooks and let's start with section three. I'll be back in a moment.
(All Children exit)
(MISS HONEY asks to see MISS TRUNCHBULL about the new girl MATILDA and her special abilities)
(Miss Trunchbull enters)
MISS TRUNCHBULL:
Good to see you, Jen. So, what did you want to see me about? Time for one of our little heart-to-hearts?
MISS HONEY:
It's about the new girl in my class, Matilda Wormwood.
MISS TRUNCHBULL:
Her father says she's a real wart. A carbuncle. A blister. A pustule of malignant ooze.
MISS HONEY:
Matilda is sweet and very bright.
MISS TRUNCHBULL:
A bright child?
MISS HONEY:
She can multiply large sums.
MISS TRUNCHBULL:
So can a calculator.
MISS HONEY:
I think she might be happier in an older and more advanced class.
MISS TRUNCHBULL:
You can't handle the little viper, so you're trying to get rid of her.
MISS HONEY:
No...
MISS TRUNCHBULL:
Typical, slothful cowardice! The distance the shot-put goes depends on your effort. If you can't handle the little brat, I'll lock her in the Chokey! Get it?
MISS HONEY:
Yes. ma'am.
MISS TRUNCHBULL:
Everything I do is for your own good. And the good of those putrescent, little Children! Understand?!!
MISS HONEY:
Yes Miss Trunchbull.
