Acting Class
Two-hander · Comedy
Acting Class
Acting Class · Clifford Jury
1 / 1
Acting Class
Published by scriptsandsketches.com
In this comedic exchange, a teacher struggles to keep her student Crystal focused during acting class, leading to unexpected and hilarious moments about camels and inspiration.
Duologue
Characters: TEACHER, CRYSTAL
(CRYSTAL is taking acting classes. Her TEACHER is faced with the considerable challenge of keeping Crystal focused, and helping her to find inspiration.)
TEACHER:
Now then Crystal, you say you've done this piece before, so let's have a big, big performance shall we, sweetheart? Lots of life, lots of energy - fill the room with your glorious voice. That's it darling, stand tall and proud, and...
CRYSTAL:
(Very mechanically) 0 - for - a - fuse - of - wire - that - would - send - the - highest - heaven - of - intention. I'm going to a party tonight.
TEACHER:
Are you, darling? That's lovely. Now then. The words are so nearly, nearly there. Muse of fire. Can you remember what a muse is?
CRYSTAL:
Is it a camel?
TEACHER:
Nnnooo. Not really. It's inspiration isn't it? Something that fills us with imagination. And invention darling, which is... ?
CRYSTAL:
Is that a camel?
TEACHER:
No, not a - where are you getting all this camel stuff from?
CRYSTAL:
We've been doing transport through the ages.
TEACHER:
Oh.
CRYSTAL:
Did you know a camel can fly twice round the earth without eating?
TEACHER:
A camel? Are you sure?
CRYSTAL:
Miss Taylor said.
TEACHER:
Well, just check that before you commit pen to paper. Now then. We've got the right words, let's perform them. Imagine you have a great big audience eager to hear you explode into life. And...
CRYSTAL:
0 - for - a - fuse -
TEACHER:
Muse.
CRYSTAL:
muse - of - fire - that - can -
TEACHER:
Would.
CRYSTAL:
would - attend -
TEACHER:
Ascend.
CRYSTAL:
ascend - the - biggest -
TEACHER:
Brightest.
CRYSTAL:
brightest - heaven - of - injection -
TEACHER:
Vention.
CRYSTAL:
invention.
TEACHER:
Well... that was our one step back, wasn't it? Now let's have two great big steps forward.
CRYSTAL:
My mum's a teacher.
TEACHER:
Is she?
CRYSTAL:
Only she teaches at night. Sometimes all night.
TEACHER:
I see. What does daddy do?
CRYSTAL:
He's in prison.
TEACHER:
Oh, right.
CRYSTAL:
I'm going to Kirsty's party tonight.
TEACHER:
That will be lovely. Is she your best friend?
CRYSTAL:
0 - for - a - muse - of - fire - that - would - ascend - the - brightest - heaven - of - invention.
TEACHER:
That's wonderful darling. Word perfect. Good girl. So now you know the words, we need to sing them out.
CRYSTAL:
0 - for - a -
TEACHER:
Sing them sweetheart: 0 for a -
CRYSTAL:
0 - for - a - muse -
TEACHER:
Muse of invention -
CRYSTAL:
That - would - ascend -
TEACHER:
Ascend!
CRYSTAL:
Ascend.
TEACHER:
Ascend darling, like the lark, rise up, up to the sky, ascend!
CRYSTAL:
Ascend - the - brightest - heaven -
TEACHER:
Heaven of invention!
CRYSTAL:
Of - invention.
TEACHER:
Crystal, petal, whose idea was it to do this piece?
CRYSTAL:
My old teacher.
TEACHER:
And what happened to -
CRYSTAL:
He wasn't a real teacher.
TEACHER:
Oh.
CRYSTAL:
He was mum's friend.
TEACHER:
Right. And whose idea was it to do Speech and Drama?
CRYSTAL:
Mum's. She said she earns good money teaching and wants to give me a good start.
TEACHER:
I see. Well, let's have something mummy would be proud of, shall we? Don't fold your arms darling. Smile and fling away those inhibitions.
CRYSTAL:
0 - for - a -
TEACHER:
Open your arms sweetheart.
CRYSTAL:
0 - for - a -
TEACHER:
Let yourself go!
CRYSTAL:
0 - for - a -
TEACHER:
Louder, bigger!
CRYSTAL:
0 - for - a -
TEACHER:
For goodness sake Crystal, put some oomph into it!
CRYSTAL:
(Brilliantly) 0 for a muse of fire, that would ascend The brightest heaven of Invention! A kingdom for a stage, princes to act, and monarchs to behold the swelling scene!
TEACHER:
Crystal, darling, where did that come from? Why didn't you do it like that before?
CRYSTAL:
You never said.
