Malory Towers – Madmoiselle Dupont
Two-hander · Comedy
Malory Towers – Madmoiselle Dupont
Malory Towers – Madmoiselle Dupont · Enid Blyton Adapted by Simon Law
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Malory Towers
Published by scriptsandsketches.com
In a sweltering classroom at Malory Towers, Mary-Lou's panic over a spider leads to a hilarious confrontation with Mam’zelle Dupont, revealing the chaos of school life.
Duologue
Characters: MARY-LOU, MAM’ZELLE DUPONT
Malory Towers is a girls' boarding school. The young French assistante, MAM’ZELLE DUPONT, has arrived to teach the class on a very hot summer afternoon.
MARY-LOU:
(In a chanting voice with rest of class) Good afternoon Mam’zelle Dupont MAM’ZELLE DUPONT: Asseyez-vous. Phew! — it is too hot to make conversation with such stupid ones as you this afternoon! Get out your grammar books out and I will explain a few things to you that will help your conversation if you can get them into your so-stupid heads!
(Screams continuously as if gone mad) Ahhh, eeeeee, ooooh etc etc MAM’ZELLE DUPONT: Que faites-vous, Mary-Lou? What are you doing? Tiens! What is this noise? Mary-Lou have you gone mad? Mary-Lou tell me what is the matter with you? I demand it!
Mam’zelle, it is a spider, oh it is the most dreadful thing you’ve ever seen, Oh Mam’zelle, it is enormous, it was in my book MAM’ZELLE DUPONT: A spider? And you make this fuss, and call out so loudly that we all jump in fear! Mary-Lou, be ashamed of yourself. I am angry with you. Where is this spider now? Hmmm
It’s in my desk Mam’zelle, honestly, it was on my grammar book MAM’ZELLE DUPONT: Sit down. … I said, sit down. Irene, don't giggle. We will see if this spider exists or not. And I warn you, Mary Lou, if this is again a trick, and there is no spider, you will go to Miss Potts for punishment. I wash my hands of you. (Going over to Mary-Lou's desk and opening the lid, dramatically)
(Sees the spider on Mam’zelle Duponts head and screams again) Ahhh, eeeeee, ooooh etc etc MAM’ZELLE DUPONT: (Not seeing the spider on her head) See! Bad girl. You, so quiet and good, you too deceive me, the poor Mam'zelle! will not have it. No spider Not one! Tell me, where has it gone, if it is still in there?
(Pointing at M’ZELLE DUPONT’S head) There it is there, look, can you not feel it, it’s on your …… HEAD!!! AAGGGHHH!!! MAM’ZELLE DUPONT: (She suddenly feels the spider and screams) Aaaargh! You are right! Where is it now, the monster? Girls, girls can you see it? Oh ... my neck! Take it off! I beg you! Remove it from me! (Jumping and screaming, trying to shake it off) Oh, la la! Oh, la la! What a miserable woman I am! Help me! Where is this monster? Girls, girls, tell me it is gone! Take it off me... Please. PLEASE.
(Suddenly seeing Miss Potts, the class teacher, entering the room, everyone becomes quiet and stands still) Oh, er, ...Good afternoon Miss Potts (Hiding the book) MAM’ZELLE DUPONT: (Looking up disheveled) Oh... er... Miss Potts ... it was ... it is the spider ... a big one ... it looked ... I can explain everything, really… I can .. ??!!. FREEZE!
(Screams continuously as if gone mad) Ahhh, eeeeee, ooooh etc etc MAM’ZELLE DUPONT: Que faites-vous, Mary-Lou? What are you doing? Tiens! What is this noise? Mary-Lou have you gone mad? Mary-Lou tell me what is the matter with you? I demand it!
Mam’zelle, it is a spider, oh it is the most dreadful thing you’ve ever seen, Oh Mam’zelle, it is enormous, it was in my book MAM’ZELLE DUPONT: A spider? And you make this fuss, and call out so loudly that we all jump in fear! Mary-Lou, be ashamed of yourself. I am angry with you. Where is this spider now? Hmmm
It’s in my desk Mam’zelle, honestly, it was on my grammar book MAM’ZELLE DUPONT: Sit down. … I said, sit down. Irene, don't giggle. We will see if this spider exists or not. And I warn you, Mary Lou, if this is again a trick, and there is no spider, you will go to Miss Potts for punishment. I wash my hands of you. (Going over to Mary-Lou's desk and opening the lid, dramatically)
(Sees the spider on Mam’zelle Duponts head and screams again) Ahhh, eeeeee, ooooh etc etc MAM’ZELLE DUPONT: (Not seeing the spider on her head) See! Bad girl. You, so quiet and good, you too deceive me, the poor Mam'zelle! will not have it. No spider Not one! Tell me, where has it gone, if it is still in there?
(Pointing at M’ZELLE DUPONT’S head) There it is there, look, can you not feel it, it’s on your …… HEAD!!! AAGGGHHH!!! MAM’ZELLE DUPONT: (She suddenly feels the spider and screams) Aaaargh! You are right! Where is it now, the monster? Girls, girls can you see it? Oh ... my neck! Take it off! I beg you! Remove it from me! (Jumping and screaming, trying to shake it off) Oh, la la! Oh, la la! What a miserable woman I am! Help me! Where is this monster? Girls, girls, tell me it is gone! Take it off me... Please. PLEASE.
(Suddenly seeing Miss Potts, the class teacher, entering the room, everyone becomes quiet and stands still) Oh, er, ...Good afternoon Miss Potts (Hiding the book) MAM’ZELLE DUPONT: (Looking up disheveled) Oh... er... Miss Potts ... it was ... it is the spider ... a big one ... it looked ... I can explain everything, really… I can .. ??!!. FREEZE!
