(Screams) Aarrgghh!!

Sorry, did I step on your toe?

No, no that’s fine, it’s just me, sorry.

Look, I don’t mean to be rude, but what seat do you have?

Er, let me see now (looks at boarding pass slip) … 12A

Ahh we’re neighbours, I’m 12B!! I don’t suppose I could sit by the window could I?

Well, I really don’t like sitting by the aisle, all those people brushing past you, going to the loo, and unruly children running and sneezing and coughing, yuck!

No, no that’s fine, I just thought I’d ask .. it’s just that …..

Good morning and welcome aboard this British Airways flight to New York. Please fasten your seatbelts at this time and secure all hand baggage underneath your seat or in the overhead compartments. We also ask that your seats and table trays are in the upright position for take-off. Please turn off all personal electronic devices, including laptops and cell phones. (Both KATIE and CHARLOTTE hurriedly sit down and fasten their seat belts) (GABRIELLA continues quietly through the next dialogue) Ladies and gentlemen, on behalf of the crew I ask that you please direct your attention to the monitors above as we review the emergency procedures. There are six emergency exits on this aircraft. Take a minute to locate the exit closest to you. Note that the nearest exit may be behind you. Should the cabin experience sudden pressure loss, oxygen masks will drop down from above your seat. Place the mask over your mouth and nose, like this. Pull the strap to tighten it. If you are traveling with children, make sure that your own mask is on first before helping your children. In the unlikely event of an emergency landing and evacuation, leave your hand baggage behind. Life rafts are located below your seats and emergency lighting will lead you to your closest exit and slide. We ask that you make sure that all hand baggage is stowed away safely during the flight. While we wait for take off, please take a moment to review the safety data card in the seat pocket in front of you.

(To KATIE with a loud cheerfully annoying voice) Oh, now comes the boring bit! Hi! I’m Charlotte (puts out her hand to shake hands)

(Folds her arms not wanting to touch her) Katie .. hi! You don’t mind if I just listen to my music do you, I’m not really in the mood for a chat. (Puts on headphones and selects a playlist from her phone)

(Jumps and moves away as much as she can) Argh! what are you doing?

It is turned off isn’t it? (KATIE looks bemused and cross, takes off her headphones) Your phone .. it is turned off right?

Yes, it’s turned off, it’s in flight mode. (Puts her headphones back on)

(Moves away close to the window, but CHARLOTTE snuggles up on her shoulder) Erm, hello? ……. Hello? (CHARLOTTE still out for the count) (Calling to GABRIELLA) Excuse me Miss …. Miss (pushes overhead call button, raises and waves her hand)

(Sternly) Madam, we are about to taxi to the runway, please take your seat immediately.

Look, …. I have a condition called ‘Chiraptophobia’ ... (pushes CHARLOTTE's head off with her phone)

I’m sorry, but you should have informed us before the flight if you have an uncontrollable fear of flying.

It’s not a fear of flying, I can’t stand being touched, and this, this woman is resting her head on me and snorting!

(Snorts again and wakes up) Oh, I’m sorry, did I drift off, sorry about that, (yawns) that’s why I wanted to sit by the window, I have ‘Narcolepsy’, I fall asleep just about anywhere, all the time, it can be so embarrassing, I remember … once I …… (falls asleep onto GABRIELLA)

Madam, madam, wake up please, WAKE UP MADAM! (Slaps her face gently, then sits her upright in her chair, she slowly falls onto KATIE again)

GET HER OFF OF ME!! (Stands up and takes her seat belt off CHARLOTTE slumps onto the arm rest)

Look I’m sorry but you must both take your seats and sit in an upright position for take off.

I’m not sitting next to her. I refuse! She’s got a condition, she goes to sleep all the time, and I hate being touched, so please do something about it.

(Yawns) Sorry, dozed off again! Look, would it help if I put my small dozing pillow on your shoulder? .. then at least I wouldn’t be touching you.

(Starting to shout hysterically) No it would not. You cough, you snort and wriggle, I can’t stand it! (To GABRIELLA) Miss, please! You have to move me, I can’t take this all the way to New York, please!

Well I can’t stand the fact that you are so hypersensitive, (Takes off her seat belt and stands up confronting KATIE and poking her with her finger) .. you’re ridiculous, I’ve never even heard of Kyro … chiro … whatever it is you seem to be suffering from, I refuse to sit next to you. How about that!

Ok, OK! Please both just calm down, you’re disturbing the other passengers. I’ll move you both but you’ll have to be quick. I only have 2 seats in First Class, which are next to each other, they have a table between them and ….

Well, I suppose that’ll have to do. CHARLOTTE & KATIE: (General muttering of discontent)

(CHARLOTTE & KATIE follow GABRIELLA to First Class) Did you remember your phone and earplugs?

Yes. Did you remember your dozing pillow?

Of course. (They both take their seats in first class)

Glass of Champagne before take-off mum?

Ooh yes please darling, and one for your sister, I knew those drama lessons would come in handy! First Class all the way to New York … lovely. KATIE, CHARLOTTE & GABRIELLA: (GABRIELLA returns with the Champagne, cheerfully) Enjoy the flight, anything you need, you know where I am! (All High-5 and chuckle - CHARLOTTE glugs her Champagne and gives her glass back to GABRIELLA, puts her pillow on KATIE’s shoulder and rests her head.
Sleep tight sweetheart!