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The Audition - Group Script - 4 Players


By Laurie Allen

Adapted for 4 Players – Short Version

By Simon Law


CAT BURGLAR 1: CAT BURGLAR 2, actually the actors who are coming to audition DIRECTOR, PRODUCER.

Group script – suitable for 10+ Year olds – Adults, male and/or female

Time –  Present Day

SETTING: the office of a Hollywood movie director. There is an opened window Backstage Center with a view of a mountain with the HOLLYWOOD sign on it. To the Right and left of the window are movie posters of perhaps Arnold Schwarzenegger and Bruce Willis in action movies. Below each poster is a filing cabinet. A desk sits Center Stage with a pile of scripts on each side. There is a telephone on the desk. The DIRECTOR and the PRODUCER are discussing the casting of two CAT BURGLARS in their latest movie

DIRECTOR: Hi, how are you? (Hi 5 – hands) 

PRODUCER: Hey, man I’m good, what happened with that thing?

DIRECTOR: Oh, the thing! You mean that thing! Oh, nothing really … coffee? 

PRODUCER: Please, and make it strong I was at a premier last night with Jack .. pheww!

DIRECTOR: Rather you than me!!! Hahah!! (Pouring a coffee) Now I’ve been looking at this script. It looks good .. real good. Full of action, I have just the people in mind for the parts of those crazy cat burglars. 

PRODUCER: You do know we have Arnie and Bruce for the title roles.

DIRECTOR: I know, I know. The title roles are going to Bruce and Arnie, no problem. Don’t worry. 

PRODUCER: Have you read this script?  ‘The Psycho Cat Burglar Two’. We’ll make millions on this one just like we made on ‘Psycho Cat Burglar One’ 

(DIRECTOR and PRODUCER browse through scripts getting  up and walking to front of stage, as CAT BURGLAR 1 & 2, wearing ski masks,  enter quietly through an open window. The CAT BURGLARS, carry small black duffel bags and what looks like a magnum each. CAT BURGLARS sneak slowly up behind DIRECTOR and PRODUCER who are paging through the scripts. As one CAT BURGLAR 1 silently climbs over desk, the other circles round) 

DIRECTOR: It’s going to be another box office smash. We’ll film the interiors in Hollywood, then to San Francisco and New York for the location shots. 

CAT BURGLAR 1: (Sticks gun in DIRECTOR’s back) Stick em up!

CAT BURGLAR 2: (Sticks gun in PRODUCER’s back) Yeah .. Stick em up!

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